


Cell Block Tango

by Chikabow



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Chicago (Musical) - Freeform, M/M, shitpost basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6738253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikabow/pseuds/Chikabow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauri, Seungbin, Ray, Jangsik, Dayoon, Yeujin perform the Cell Block Tango of the Chicago musical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cell Block Tango

And now the 6 marry murderers of the LCS county jail in their rendition of the cell block tango.  
  
[LAURI]  
Steal!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Six!  
  
[RAY]  
Ganked!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Uh Uh  
  
[DAYOON]  
Hole!  
  
[YEUJIN]  
Larsson!  
  
[LAURI]  
Steal!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Six!  
  
[RAY]  
Ganked!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Uh Uh  
  
[DAYOON]  
Hole!  
  
[YEUJIN]  
Larsson!  
  
[LAURI]  
Steal!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Six!  
  
[RAY]  
Ganked!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Uh Uh  
  
[DAYOON]  
Hole!  
  
[YEUJIN]  
Larsson!  
  
[LAURI]  
Steal!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Six!  
  
[RAY]  
Ganked!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Uh Uh  
  
[DAYOON]  
Hole!  
  
[YEUJIN]  
Larsson!  
  
[LAURI]  
Steal!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Six!  
  
[RAY]  
Ganked!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Uh Uh  
  
[DAYOON]  
Hole!  
  
[YEUJIN]  
Larsson!  
  
[ALL]  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
  
[DAYOON]  
I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
[LAURI]  
Steal!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Six!  
  
[RAY]  
Ganked!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Uh Uh   
  
[DAYOON]  
Hole!  
  
[YEUJIN]  
Larsson!

 

  
  
[LAURI ]  
You know how people  
have these little habits  
That get you down. Like Enrique.  
Enrique liked to take my blue.  
No, not take. STEAL.  
So I come to the jungle this one game  
And I am really irritated, and I'm  
looking for a bit of sympathy  
and there's Enrique laning  
mid, farming some minions  
and takin'. No, not takin'.  
STEALIN'. So, I said to him,  
I said, "you steal that  
blue one more time..."  
and he did.  
So I took the smite off cooldown  
and I fired two warning shots...  
...into his head.

  
[OTHERS]  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have heard it  
I betcha you would  
Have done the same!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
I met Kim Hyukkyu from  
EDG about two years ago  
and he told me he was single  
and we hit it off right away.  
So, we started living together.  
He'd go to lane, he'd come B, I'd  
fix him a soju, We'd have a drake.  
And then I found out,  
"Single" he told me?  
Single, my ass. Not only  
was he married  
...oh, no, he had six husbands.  
One of those Mormons, you know. So that  
night, when he came home, I fixed him  
his soju as usual.  
You know, some guys just can't hold  
their arsenic.

  
  
[LAURI,SEUNGBIN,RAY,YEUJIN]  
Hah! He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He took a flower  
In its prime  
And then he used it  
And he abused it  
It was a murder  
But not a crime!  
  
[DAYOON AND JANGSIK]  
Steal, six, ganked, uh-uh  
Hole!, Larsson

 

  
  
[RAY ]  
Now, I'm standing in the river  
setting up wards for the laning phase,  
minding my own business,  
and in storms my husband Petter,  
in a jealous rage.  
"You been screwin' the top laner,"  
he says. He was crazy  
and he kept screamin',  
"you been screwin the top laner."  
And then he fell for their ganks.  
He fell for their ganks ten times.."  
  
[ALL]  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same!

 

  
  
[JANGSIK]  
What am I doing here?

They say that my famous enemy

 held down my ADC while I cut off his head.

But it's not true, I'm innocent.

I don't know why Uncle Loco says I did it.

I tried to explain it to Riot,

but they didn't understand.

  
[RAY ]  
Yeah, but did you do it?  
  
[JANGSIK]  
UH UH, not guilty!

 

[DAYOON]  
My brother, Luka and  
I had this double act  
and my husband, Fabian,  
traveled around with us.  
Now, for the last number in  
our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks  
one two three four, five... unstoppable force, ace in the hole,  
relentless assault, bio-arcane barrage,  
one right after the other.  
Well, this one night we were in the FNC house,  
the three of us,  
boozin' and  
havin' a few laughs  
when we run out of ice.  
So I went out to get some.  
I come back, open the door  
and there's Luka and  
Fabian doing Number Seventeen-  
ace in the hole.  
  
Well, I was in such a state of shock,  
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.  
It wasn't until later,  
when I was washing the blood off my hands  
I even knew they were dead.  
  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming all along  
I didn't do it  
But if I'd done it  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

  
[DAYOON]  
They had it coming

  
[OTHERS]  
They had it coming

  
[DAYOON]  
They had it coming

  
[OTHERS]  
They had it coming

  
[DAYOON]  
They had it coming

  
[OTHERS]  
They took a flower

  
[DAYOON]

All along

  
[OTHERS]

In its prime

  
[DAYOON]  
I didn't do it

  
[OTHERS]  
And then they used it

  
[DAYOON]  
But if I'd done it

  
[OTHERS]  
And they abused it

  
[DAYOON]  
How could you tell me

  
[OTHERS]  
It was a murder

  
[DAYOON]  
That I was wrong?

  
[OTHERS]  
But not a crime!

 

  
  
[YEUJIN]  
I loved Martin Larsson  
more than I can possibly say.  
He was a real talented ADC...  
sensitive... a carry.  
But  
He was always trying  
to find himself.  
He'd change team every season  
looking for himself  
and on the way  
he found Hyukkyu,  
Peter,  
Hai and Fabian.  
I guess you can say we broke  
up because of team dynamics.  
He saw himself as a carry  
and I saw him as a dead weight.  
  
[ALL]  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
  
[LAURI,SEUNGBIN,YEUJIN]  
They had it comin'

  
[DAYOON,RAY,JANGSIK]  
They had it comin'

  
[LAURI,SEUNGBIN,YEUJIN]  
They had it comin'

  
[DAYOON,RAY,JANGSIK]  
They had it comin'

  
[LAURI,SEUNGBIN,YEUJIN]  
They had it comin'

  
[DAYOON,RAY,JANGSIK]  
They had it comin'

  
[LAURI,SEUNGBIN,YEUJIN]  
All along

  
[DAYOON,RAY,JANGSIK]  
All along  
'Cause if they used us  
'Cause if they used us And they abused us  
And they abused us

  
[LAURI,SEUNGBIN,YEUJIN]  
How could you tell us

  
[DAYOON,RAY,JANGSIK]  
How could you tell us That we were wrong?  
That we were wrong?  
  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had  
Himself  
To blame.  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha  
You would  
Have done  
The same!  
  
[LAURI]  
You steal that blue one more time!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Single my ass.  
  
[RAY]  
Ten times!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Why am I in Riot's jail  
  
[DAYOON]  
Number seventeen- ace in the hole.  
  
[YEUJIN ]  
Team dynamics.

[LAURI]  
Steal!  
  
[SEUNGBIN]  
Six!  
  
[RAY]  
Ganked!  
  
[JANGSIK]  
Uh Uh  
  
[DAYOON]  
Hole!  
  
[YEUJIN]  
Larsson!

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reinterpretation of the musical number featuring some pro player couples. No copyright infigement intended.


End file.
